M3:D69 Lonely



What's on my mind today?

Today was a rest day, but I strapped on my MP3 player and went for a nice 3 mile walk.  During that walk I got to do alot of thinking about my mental state the past month or so.  I came to realize alot of very interesting things.  You see, when I start to have any issues in my work or personal life that throw me for a loop, I tend to withdraw and become a huge introvert.  That's why I'm amazed at how open I've been on this blog.  It just isn't me to be so open during a time of strife.

As I walked the word that kept coming up was lonely.   Now obviously when you become introverted it can be very lonely, but that isn't the real reason the word lonely came to mind.  I realized that as a Shredder, life can be very lonely.  People don't understand why you are doing what you are doing.  They don't get your dedication to a physique transformation.  As a result it can be a very lonely life.  When everyone else is eating pizza and you are eating your chicken breast and vegetables it can feel lonely.  You are alone in your battle.  Despite support from family and friends, the loneliness is bound to set in.

For me the past month has been extremely lonely.  Various scenarios have played over in my mind.  Decisions were debated constantly.  My plan was pushed to the limit and somehow I managed to figure out how to handle it.  At the same time, I felt very alone.  I'm not the guy who tries to win the attention of other people.  I am the guy who believes you take me or leave me as I am.  As a result, life itself can be quite lonely.  I am often alone in my thoughts and opinions.  I have gotten used to it after 43 years, but there are still some things that go on that I don't understand.

I was talking to someone today about how people can go from being close to distant almost overnight.  While my own belief is that the change happens gradually, a person can just suddenly decide they don't want to talk to you anymore.  What was once a close relationship suddenly becomes a battleground.  Where there was once harmony there is discontent.  One person thinks they are being clear with their wants and needs, but the reality is that they haven't communicated anything to the other person.  That can lead to more conflict and strife.  It is a vicious cycle and it is something I just don't understand and something I hope I'm never a party to.  Thank God I have not been through something like that yet.

Physique transformation is definitely a lonely job.  I have people at the gym looking at how hard I work and have even had some comment that it isn't worth working that hard.  Lonely.  That's how I feel most of the time these days.


 Accountability

The food today was crazy.  As promised, I have upped my calories.  I managed to get in 4100 calories today!  I am shooting for 3100 for Monday through Friday.  I will be getting an additional 1500 calories this week.  It is going to be tough to keep it all clean, but with doubling my EFA dosage each day this week, I should do fine.  I've also changed my ratios during the week to be 20/40/40.  This will put me at 155 grams of carbs, 310 grams of protein and 138 grams of fat.  This is definitely a recipe for muscle growth.  That's the entire idea!
 
Find out what I'm doing to my body!

Today was a rest day, but I did get in 3 miles walking.
 
Exercise the brain with the Thought of the Day!

Loneliness can lead to deep, thoughtful mental states that assist in solving major problems.
 
Get a discussion started by answering the question!

Do you ever feel lonely during your physique transformation process?  Comment this post to answer the question.
 
 
 

Mission 1, Day 69: Opportunity

Until tomorrow...GET BACK TO LIFTING!

Posted by Michael Mahony at 7/20/2008 8:37 PM
Categories: Nutrition, Nike+, Old Missions
 
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  • 7/20/2008 9:55 PM Andy wrote:
    Hey Mike...keep it going here. I understand the circumstances involved when it comes to wanting to get that physique transformation. Unless they are doing it too - the thing is, they'll never understand fully the concept of why we're doing it. Vanity? Live a healthier lifestyle? Or just to rejuvinate one's self through exercise and nutrition - it's an individual thing and it's something I also have to deal with as well at work and at home.

    Stay strong and keep rocking the boat brother.

    On the relationship stand. Sometimes it may be the individuals involved. One wants space the other wants the opposite. Best recourse would be to meet in the middle. If you can't then it's best just to move on and accept that some friendships were just not meant to be. I have a good friend that I want to kind of cut loose as well. It's not that I hate the dude...I just don't have the extra time to spare when it comes to hanging out anymore as we both have little families to think about. Geez...the ability to manage work, family, friends, working out - that's real life! But my family will always take priority for me.

    And that's it - what do you hold up as far as standards in life? Once you figure that out - you'll be better off, Mike!

    Never lower your standards and hold what is dear to you the most! Life's too short!

    Andy
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2008 10:14 PM Phil wrote:
    Hey Mike,

    I have been keeping an eye on your site for a while along with the other shredders and just wanted to say well done mate. One of the great things about having blogs and being public is you can get alot of support. I have my own blog but its not public (yet) and certainly not as good as yours or the other guys like Adam etc.. I dont comment often so I hope you feel priviledged - ha. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope I am giving you some 'power' back. p.s I have been tempted to open my blog to just a couple of people that understand the journey rather than everyone to avoid embarrassment. Is this what you did first or did you just bite the bullet and say stuff it/dont care what people think?
    Cheers, Phil (Sydney Australia).
    p.s.s are you on facebook?
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2008 11:25 PM Mike Groom wrote:
    Take heart, as a shredder community we can all be lonely together!

    I think that is why I have stuck to this as long as I have this time.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 3:31 AM Meredith wrote:
    Michael...couldn't agree more with you. It adds a layer of difficulty to follow through when you are surrounded by people that either don't support your fitness quest or who are constantly trying to tempt you with choices that go against your planned food or exercise regime. Thank goodness for this group! It is the one sane place that I have found that is a constant reminder that I am NOT alone.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 4:33 AM Juli wrote:
    Yesm loneliness is a big point with good and bad sides...like the flip-side of a coin; but in the end I am thankful for it.

    Sending you a big hug, better times are around the corner for you,

    Juli
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 5:49 AM Debbie wrote:
    Interesting post, Michael. I think dedication to health & fitness is very lonely. We are not the norm.

    I also notice that the gym is very lonely. I wonder why gyms don't think of a way to bring people together. Challenges, etc.

    However, we do have one another and it helps immensely. It goes to show how tough our road would be without the internet and our fellow shredders.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/21/2008 10:27 AM Michael Mahony wrote:
      Debbie, Juli, Meredith, Mike, Phil and Andy,

      Thanks for your comments.  I wanted to make something very clear to everyone--I am not having relationship problems I just use human relationships as a way to express what I'm thinking at the moment.  Think about how lonely it would be to have a person that you care about, a person you talk to daily (several times a day) and suddenly they are not there.  That would create a huge gap and make you feel very lonely.  This would happen even if other things kept you busy because the other things cannot possibly take the place of the person missing from your life.

      Phil, as to your question, I just put the blog out there.  I never kept it private, not from Day 1.   I always speak my mind and people can take it or leave it.  That part is up to them.  I am honored that you commented.  Thanks!
      Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 12:50 PM Lynda wrote:
    I wish you didn´t feel lonely, and that you would find your life full and happy. Maybe one of these days you´ll find the path to it all. Being dedicated is wonderful, and you undoubtably are so good at it. Hold on. Remember that you have all of us behind you and here in our world you are NOT ALONE. In fact, you are doing the best of any of us. Something to be very proud of.
    Hugs,
    Lynda
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 2:11 PM Christina wrote:
    It would be cool if us lonely shredders had the chance to all live and work within a 25 mile radius...wouldn't feel so lonely then would it?! ;]
    Reply to this
    1. 7/21/2008 4:29 PM Michael Mahony wrote:
      Christina, that would be awesome for sure!
      Reply to this
  • 7/21/2008 6:14 PM Ron Guevara wrote:
    Wow, well-written post. I agree with you musings regarding loneliness in our quests. Take heart though that all of us Shredders are in this together.
    Reply to this
  • 7/22/2008 2:43 AM Lilla wrote:
    I'm a loner by nature. Always have been. Actually I prefer it most of the time. Good thing I enjoy my own company! ;D
    Reply to this
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